Scroggins Crosswired Local News -
May/June 1999Breaking News Almost as Weird as Reality
Current Index || Editorials || Photo News || Click here for Redneck Version
Jul99 | Aug99 | Sep99 | Oct99 | Nov99 | Dec99 | Jan00 | Feb00 | Mar00 | Apr00 | May-Jun00 | Jul00
DATE |
HEADLINE (click the date for news story you want to see) |
Radio station to sponsor boxing match between mayoral candidates |
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Developers withdraw Zebulon Road rezoning request, construct mote around corporate office |
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Total vote count key to election results |
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Burgamy unoffically announces candidacy for Macon mayor |
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Reporters inject race, dirt and innuendo into mayoral race |
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General W.T. Sherman causes state tax refund delays |
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Mayor Marshall's offhand comments may bring host of criminal charges |
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City escapes peril of tax cut by narrow 12-1 vote |
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Warner Robins officials defeat proposed death penalty for littering |
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Wilkinson officials consider law requiring nude dancing |
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Dillard check bouncing part of Democratic conspiracy to draft Mabel Jones |
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June 14-18 |
Crosswired Local News will not be available June 14-18; will resume June21 |
Tony Caldwell launches 'draft Mabel Jones for GOP Mayor' citizen's petition |
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Centreplex receives heavy artillery and aerial strafing from budget panel |
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Local cops shoot holes in Schumer gun report |
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Georgia named leading criminal supplier of peanuts, peaches and guns |
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Gigantic horde enters race for Macon mayor, council seats |
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Macon council wields chainsaws on department budgets |
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Midstate left off powerful transportation board; Governor says 'buzz off' |
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Attack period extended on MATS roads plan |
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School Board: Bloody axe has county commission fingerprints |
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Blaming stench on Riverwood a mid-state tradition |
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City officials call bickering cease-fire during holiday |
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Elementary school site purchased south of Bibb |
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Citizens group: School Board a bunch of incompetent high-roller wastrels |
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Bibb County hikes taxes while blowing smoke about schools |
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Gray Mayor: Besides being chumps, Gray city council held illegal meeting |
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Bibb Schools reverse dunce policy |
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Unification commission has no problem with crowd control |
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Mayoral hopeful Ellis: Crime higher priority than Mom, Flag or Apple Pie |
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City officials: FBI a bunch of bean-counting fibbers |
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Macon considers massive CFC release to fight excessive ozone |
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Mayor Marshall to present 'truly balanced' budget, not 'sorta kinda balanced' budget |
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Local Slave Master Takes Early Retirement including attractive slave package |
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McKinney scores dope for Clinton then lobbies for kaolin probe |
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Bomb rumors part of party scheme for area high schools |
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Bibb School Board announces new dunce policy for grad test failures |
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Gun control bills’ passage proves US Senate members aren’t dummies |
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Bibb officials announce plan to provide housing for county employees |
Jul99 | Aug99 | Sep99 | Oct99 | Nov99 | Dec99 | Jan00 | Feb00 | Mar00 | Apr00 | May-Jun00 | Jul00
Write Your Own Macon News Story
These parodies are frequently featured on the NewsTalk940 WMAC morning show with Kenny & Charles.
Visit the AM940 Morning Show web site
To read the "real" news that inspires these stories, read The Macon Telegraph online.
See Ed Grisamore's 9/29/99 column on these parodies.
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